sfux:

i feel like people who eat breakfast really have their lives together

draconisblog:

tumbledore-:

The best super power ever has to be the power to refill things. Think about it, your glass is empty, refill it without getting up. Your bank account empty, power to refill it. Your bed is empty of a person of your preferred gender, refill it and have some fun.

At first I was all:

Well that’s the stupidest thing I ever heard.

But then I was all like:

GENIUS! PURE UNADULTERATED GENIUS!

best-of-funny:

princekarkat:

for some reason i thought both of these were the same post and i sat for awhile trying to figure out which ice cream face was the weak bitch

X

best-of-funny:

princekarkat:

for some reason i thought both of these were the same post and i sat for awhile trying to figure out which ice cream face was the weak bitch

X

iamonlydorb:

sucysucyfivedolla:

the inside of your butt is warm enough to hardboil an egg

oh no I’m not falling for this one again

titytwochainz:

you really a bitch if you let the microwave hit zeros while your family is asleep you disrespectful bitch